It's amazing what you find when you go through old paperwork...

So I knew I had a lot of stuff that needed to be shredded before I could biff it all (old bank statements and the like) and it was interesting to find some stuff that dated back more than 6 years (as well as to fill up 10 shopping bags with shredding - thanks for the loan of your shredder, Mum!).

Six years ago, I was working as a PA and in my final year of part-time as a legal executive (equivalent to a para-legal).  The job was coming to an end, in that I had done what I could in it and knew that it was time to move on.  The plan was that I was going to move overseas (to Melbourne, Australia)...being the geek that I am, I had a folder with lists of what I needed/wanted/had to do/arrange to move to Aus.

The other day, I found the folder and the first list in there was what I wanted in terms of a place to live.  Of the 15 items on the list, my current house (which I moved into four years ago) has 13 of those requirements - the only two missing were a gas cooker and air conditioning/central heating - neither of which are a major concern here.

Which makes me wonder.  Maybe if I make more (very specific lists) of what I want from the universe, maybe I'll get what I want.

I think I might start putting together my wish lists....I don't bother with New Year resolutions, but I have a birthday coming up and maybe I could have a new birthday year resolution....

Why do you need to see me cry?

You know, sometimes I really don't get it.

Apparently, I need to show my emotions more so that people know what I am really feeling.  WHY?  I don't understand why you need to see me cry or get really wound up so that you have "proof" that I do have emotions.  Can you not simply accept that what I say is exactly what I mean?

And you know what also gets me?  I'm sitting here watching a cooking show and it really grinds my gears when the presenter keeps going on about being "good" or "bad" with his food.  Food is neither good nor bad and demonising it does nothing to help anyone.

Also, why does my cat feel the need to knead me all the time.  I really am not an unbaked loaf of bread. 

Sigh.

Yep, it's rant time again.

At least there was enough fine weather this past weekend that I could mow the lawn.  And a long weekend this coming weekend is awesome!

Depression sucks the big kumara

One thing that most people don't know about me is that I (and I hate this word) suffer from depression.

It's been described as the big black dog and sometimes it really is.  Finding the joy in life sometimes seems impossible. 

I have grown so used to putting on the facade for people, so they don't know what is going on under the surface. 

Unfortunately, I'm now at a stage where the facade is cracking big time.  So now I'm getting help.  It's only the first step...all I can do is hope that things become more manageable.

Sometimes the weather is apt

So, today is a miserable, wet, windy day.  And it really matches my mood at the moment.  I always dread answering the phone on the weekend and after hours.  It usually means either someone wants me to do something, or else something has gone wrong at work and I need to try and sort it.

Today was the latter.  Problem is that on a Sunday, you can't actually get hold of ANYONE who can do ANYTHING.  For a world that is increasingly 24/7 is is ridiculous to me that out of hours for a company that operates 24/7, you can't get any meaningful assistance.  It doesn't help clients when they are stuck in the middle of nowhere and what you have to do requires the help of someone else.

All I can say is that I hope the week gets better.  And that my garden shed doesn't end up in the neighbours garden if the wind picks up.

May or May Not Monday

An idea borrowed from a blogger who borrowed it from another blogger - the idea is to use it as a way to lighten the burden by confessing what you may or may have not have done that you might need to confess to!

I may or may not have come home from a night away, just to curl up on the sofa in the sun and go straight back to sleep for a couple of hours.

I may or may not laugh every time the cat hops up on the arm of my chair because I know he will start kneading and that is immediately followed by the dribbling.

I may or may not have put off getting the lawnmower sorted properly in the interest of $$ and may or may not be regretting it now as I can't get it to start (again).  *sigh*

I may or may not be relieved that I have FINALLY cleared out former flatmates leftovers from the garage.

I may or may not have filled a rubbish bag with expired stuff from my pantry and fridge - it's embarressing how much stuff I had in the cupboard that expired more than 3 years ago - ick.

I may or may not have to throw out my cheap ugg boots, because the sole is coming apart from the upper, and I may or may not be thinking I will wait until the end of winter before I biff them out.  I may or may not be a hoarder, although not bad enough to EVER appear on the show.

So....anything you may or may not have done that you want to confess to?

I am a grumpy old woman...

There is a great series of programmes that play on UKTV here called the "Grumpy Woman's Guide to..." and the "Grumpy Man's Guide to...".  Basically celebrities are given topics and they get to rant about them...I find it hilarious right up until I realise that I am nodding my head in agreement with their views rather than laughing at them....

The number of times I hear myself talking and all I can hear is my mothers voice...

There are so many things that annoy me:

Getting sick.  Particularly when it is a weekend, holiday or day off.  I am drinking water like it's going out of fashion at the moment in an effort to derail the cold I think I may have caught from a workmate.

Drunk teenagers who think they are cool.  They are not.  We have been there and done that and one day you will realise that when we say you look like an idiot, we are not joking.

Drivers not indicating.  My psychic button is broken.  I don't know if you are going to turn UNLESS YOU INDICATE that this is what you are doing.  It is not optional.  It is a legal requirement.  Don't make me waggle my finger at you!!

Not winning lotto.  Okay, so I hardly ever buy a ticket, but really, that's beside the point!

Sneezing.  I am a chronic sneezer.  Have been since I was a child.  My sneezes are quite quiet and petite (the only thing about me that is small and delicate!).  Yes, I do know that I sound like a cat.  Yes, I am sneezing properly.  Yes, I do sneeze a lot. Yes, I have heard that sneezing is like having an orgasm (I can assure you it's not).  It makes my eyes and nose run and interrupts my conversations - a real pain in the proverbial when most of my work day is spent talking with people!

Cleaning.  Yes, it is great when all the housework is done.  That doesn't mean I like it.  I know that there is a housework fairy somewhere that is supposed to do the vacuuming, clean the bathroom and toilet and was the dishes.  When I find where she's hiding, she is in BIG trouble.

Guilt. There are so many things that I should be doing.  A lot of time it doesn't happen.  Either I forget, run out of time or simply can't be bothered.  I hate feeling guilty for it.  Unless I have upset someone (and they are upset for a reason, not simply because they now have to do the job they had hoped I would do), I have resolved no longer to feel guilty.  We'll see how long that lasts! 

So....what makes you feel grumpy?

How do you find your blogs?

I love stumbling across new blogs to read....there are a few I read daily, which include:

http://ohnoa.com/ - absolutely hilarious and I love her "Funny Bitch Friday", where she showcases blogs written by female bloggers, introducing bloggers and bloggees to new hilarity.

http://thebloggess.com/ - one heck of a woman who finds herself in all sorts of odd situations - be sure to check out her posting about Beyonce the Chicken...she is also inspirational in terms of the project she founded about the travelling red dress (which isn't always a dress and isn't always red), as well as being very open about her struggles with mental illness.

http://www.theartofdoingstuff.com/ - Karen from Canada posts about her townie chickens, recipes, renovation and decorating ideas and general tips on how to do various activities and home repairs with a huge dash of humour (including admitting when things don't work out) and style

http://www.simpleorganizedliving.com/ - This blog exhausts and inspires me in equal measure.  While procrastination is more than just an idle past-time for me, this blogger shows how much can be done if you just get on and do it.

http://www.culinaryconcoctionsbypeabody.com/ - Sugar goodness is the (main) name of the game on this site, where Peabody shares her trials, tribulations and joys (and her CCS - crazy cocker spaniel) and recipes that might inspire you to try something new.

http://betterafter.blogspot.co.nz/ - One day, I'm actually going to try doing some of the amazing transformations that are found on this blog - free furniture converted from drab to fab by extremely talented people inspire me - even if it is just to look at the renovations.

Anyhoo, that's my top six of the moment....it's a constantly changing group, but all interest me for different reasons....

Besides, who could resist Beyonce the Chicken???